My Surreality
by Quaxo
Summary: Perry comes home early one night, and is stunned to find his resident and possible friend Petey Fischer sleeping with his wife. This is the aftermath.


I don't own Scrubs. Sorry. Don't. Would if I could, but you know how it is.

* * *

He pulled himself away from the sight of that pasty assed pansy Fischer pumping away into his wife's willing body. He thought she might have winked at him… That couldn't be though, because this was Jordan and she would have said something… She always had to have the last fucking word.

He made his way back to the living room, dazed. He hadn't felt this out of it since he'd smoked all that pot with the rest of his frat brothers just before graduating college. Their last hurrah before adulthood.

Maybe this was all a hallucination… no, it hurt too much. This was all so fucking surreal… Did he really see what he thought he saw? His resident, the man he'd taught as an intern, the man he'd been starting to think of as a friend for chrissakes fucking his wife in his bed?

He should leave… but this is home, why should he leave.

He felt the urge to go back and check just to make sure, but he let it pass. He made his way to the bar and grabbed his bottle of whiskey, forgoing the glass to drink straight from the bottle. Funny… he could feel the burn of the alcohol on his throat, but he didn't really feel it.

He collapsed down on the couch, pulling the bottle away from his mouth just in time to prevent chipping his teeth. His eyes wandered about the dark room restlessly.

Had he really just walked in here minutes ago to suggest a romantic getaway to Sonoma this weekend? That wasn't like him… why had he… no, Petey had suggested it… a way to reconnect with Jordan… Funny. They must have thought he wouldn't get the time off…

His skin felt icy cold on the surface, but underneath it was boiling hot. So odd…

It was too quiet, he could hear the air moving (_"Awww fuck, right there right there THERE!!" "Oh my god yes yes yes…"_). He reached lazily behind him and pulled his headphones off the shelf, then clumsily mashed them over his ears… Jordan was sleeping sometimes when he came home, and she barely tolerated his music at the best of times _Who the fuck hates the Beatles? They're the Beatles for chrissake…_ He manages to smack the play button and he can hear the soft whir as the turntable gets up to speed… the needle dropping on vinyl.

Jordan always swore she was going to force him to join the 90s and throw out his LPs… she hadn't though, thank god. He'd have divorced her if she had… Should've fucking divorced her…

Funny that this album should be the one on the player, considering his mood. He let the sound wash over him, not really paying attention to lyrics. Too fucking happy… stupid fucking lies, no relationship could really work like that… Jordan and him were the case study for why those relationships didn't work. Thank god it's over now…

The next song started and he lost himself for himself for a moment, as the melody rocked him slowly. He was so fucking tired… of everything. So fucking hard to breathe anymore… His limbs weren't attached to his body anymore… how strange. He should be concerned, but he wasn't. Nothing really mattered…

He fell to his side and there was a slight crackle before the music swelled to fill everything. He could feel the whiskey soaking into the cushions of the sofa and his shirt, and he knew Jordan would be pissed, but he couldn't care. Didn't matter.

"What was that?!?"

"Shit! Perry's home."

"He's going to fucking kill me!"

"Probably."

He hears the rustling of clothes thrown on in a hurry. Frantic whispers and the jangle of keys. They're interfering with the music, they're killing his mellow… goddammit won't they just shut the fuck up… He should tell them that, but it doesn't matter.

"Dr. Cox?" Petey sounds so worried… why is he worried? The reason is just on the edges of his mind, but it slips away again and he's just too tired to care. "Dr. Cox, I'm so sorry that --- that this happened… I didn't mean to---"

His chest burns, the air in his lungs hot… like there was a hairdryer in his chest. There isn't, he knows that because he's a doctor, but it feels that way.

"Switch off my service…" The words fall from his lips, but they don't really make sense, but they do because Petey nods and slips out the door after another useless apology.

"Way to kill the mood there, Per. I was just about to get off too." Jordan's voice buzzes in his ear. So fucking annoying, why can't he just enjoy the music in peace?

"Dammit! You're getting whiskey all over!" She tries to pry the bottle out of his fingers, but he just clutches on tighter.

"Why are you listening to this music so loud---" She reaches out to turn off the record player and that is when he loses it.

His body is suddenly feverish as he pushes her back roughly, jumping to his feet. She looks surprised as she stumbles back from him.

"What the fuck's gotten into you, Per--"

"_GET OUT!!!_" Someone's shrieking and his ears hurt, his throat is raw. "_YOU BITCH!! SLUT, WHORE---"_

"No need for name calling," She sneers at him, at the numb feeling as back as he throws the whiskey bottle, barely missing her head and crashing into the wall.

She looks scared, he's never seen her scared… she scared of him, because he threw the bottle, and because he's still screaming. She grabs her car keys and runs out the door, not bothering to put on shoes. She's scared of him, and he feels bad but he doesn't and… it doesn't matter because she's gone.

He shouldn't have thrown the bottle, why did he throw the bottle? That's something his dad would have done… She deserved it, but she didn't, and fuck! Fucking father like mother fucking son, fuck fuck fuck…

The door slams shut and he's left alone with the music again. As the song winds down, his knees go weak and collapse beneath him.

The next song starts as the stench of whiskey fills his nose, as he presses his cheek into the wet couch cushion. Just like home. Same stupid mistakes made over and over… fucking inevitable, father like son…

* * *

AN: If anyone's wondering, Perry's listening to the B-side of "Magical Mystery Tour", chosen because it has "Strawberry Fields Forever" in it. The first track on that side is "Hello Goodbye", which I thought an appropriate metaphor for his and Jordan's relationship: They disagree on most everything, and while it seems cutesy and attractive in song and story, it's unpleasant in reality. Second track is "Strawberry Fields Forever", which mirrors the whole detachment and surreality that Perry's currently feeling. The last song Perry hears is "Penny Lane", it's idyllic sentiment for home and childhood an interesting contrast to Perry's own feelings about the past he feels doomed to repeat. 


End file.
